Good taglines for dating profiles

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I can be a handful, topped with sarcasm and sprinkles of bullshit. I know men only think with their penises, but I’m not afraid to blow your mind. I have an AMD graphics card, so you can say I’m used to things getting hot quickly. Team Leader / Party Starter (also see: bacon enthusiast, beard grower, semi-professional high fiver)I’m 6’3″ and will put you on my shoulders at concerts. Our relationship should be like Nintendo 64–classic, fun to spend hours with, and every issue easily fixed by blowing on it then shoving it back in. I’m not good at taking off bras so don’t worry, I won’t ask you for casual sex. Ok, I admit it, I’ve been dabbling in the world of online dating.It’s been an interesting and, occasionally, eye-opening experience.I like laughing, dogs, lots of food, beer, outdoor activities, and adventures. Based on the moments that I get, there seems to be a lot girls on here who know everything about love and relationships… When she arrives home she figures it out, goes next door, to the monastery where the monks live, opens the door interrupting the monks at dinner and shouts: “Alright, which one of you bastards has been wanking off on the church candle? My fairy tale prince is somebody who is tall, nice, and is willing to be roofied and anally penetrated by the second date. Swipe right ;)If you can’t handle me at my worst, then leave because I don’t have a best. Just your typical docile, subservient oriental girl wanting to help quell a white boy’s yellow fever. Yet they’re still on Tinder Lets sauce in the tub together, ya dig? You never have to worry about me walking out on you. Just as if I was preparing for an exam, I wrote succinct notes on every great line or piece of advice in those thousands of posts ,which then became my Tinder cheat-sheet. Above average brains, below average height, pretty average penis. This was my GO-TO GUIDE – with this list I didn’t even have to think of what Opener I should use, or what to say to get a girls number… For a limited time I’ve decided to share my own private Tinder opener cheat sheet so you can have the same success – for free! I’m actually looking for the one girl that dislikes to laugh and hates good music. If I ever find myself face to face with a tider then I’m likely in trouble so drop the camera and GET HELP! You only get three great women in your life, my mom and grandma are two… I’ll sexually disappoint you but it’ll be a journey for both of us.

If you like protein shakes, and getting caught at the gym, if you’re not into crossfit, if you have half a brain, if you like making gains at midnight, while curling in the squat rack, I’m the love that you’ve looked for, message me and be swole m8It’s tinder, let’s be real you just want my tits I don’t know who you are. I’m not the type of girl you have to hold in farts for, but rather the type of girl you want to hold in farts for. Every single time a man sleeps with a lot of women, he’s called a stud. The only hair between my legs should be your beard Horseback rider. It’s whatever…I’m currently in a three way open relationship with my two female housemates if that’s going to be an issue.“You gotta consult the cutie before you go touching that booty” – Ancient proverb Swipe right if you’re tired of masturbating. Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence. I keep 300 heifers satisfied every day, looking to make that 301Medium-small penis. At the very least, you’ll be amazed, possibly appalled, at what other people are writing! Which means I know how to ride a d*ck but I’m still not sure how taxes work. No thanks…if I wanted to disappoint two people in the same room, I’d have dinner with my parents. The main instances when a girl will read your bio is after you send them an opener or when she wants to send you the first message – she’ll do a little background check to find something to say (guy’s take note, read their profile as well! So including some bio information that will be a conversation point is a good idea.Spitters are quitters Let’s have a who’s better in bed contest. Literally just want a shag, why else would I have tinder and my first picture be me in a bikini I’ve got fake tits and a fake personality. Don’t ask me to “send some pics.” Take me out on a date, buy me some food, and try to get me naked at the end like a f*cking gentleman.500 characters isn’t really enough to demonstrate my wit and intelligence so just look at my banging cleavage for now. But if you can’t think of anything to write, a unique photo to help spark conversation can also have the same effect.I’ve learnt that men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny… Gag reflex as absent as my father figure I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him if he’s going to eat the rest of that pizza. Mainly because you love me but also because I believe in no sex before marriage and curiosity is killing you. Looking for a man to cum inside me so I can wipe my goopy vagina along the kitchen floor and pretend I am a slug. If I see you without an erection, I’ll make you a sandwich. Lonely vagina seeks penis to be friends with and maybe more Voted most likely to steal your man. About me: Let me bitch at you every day until you sort your shit out. We get married and on our wedding night we’re about to get down and dirt when suddenly I pull up my dress and expose my penis. If you can’t handle me at my worst I really commend and respect you for setting healthy boundaries for yourself. Skills include: giving head and completing entire games of Civ V.#dicknotdevotion What similarities are there between a 9v battery and my a**hole? You know you shouldn’t lick it, but you do it anyways.

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